Human beans and furbabies everywhere (including at the Waggle offices) have been sneezing and coughing in misery lately. That is why I, Doctor Cat, have decided to grace you with a few tips on how to control your allergy symptoms.
Tip #1: Avoid dogs. It’s no secret that dogs are idiots who like to roll around in dirt, grass, and anything else we felines deem too filthy to stick our delicate paws in. This turns them into walking pollen butts with no regard for anyone’s allergy well-being. This is why I call for a BOYCOTT of dogs! Everyone (especially we cats) will be happy to be free of those drool faces.
Tip #2: Stay inside. This is a skill at which cats are especially competent. You simply have to commit to sitting on a couch, preferably in the sun, and lazing the day away. Of course you’ll never be as good at staying inside as cats are, but you’ll get the hang of it! Staying inside will also help you avoid dogs, allowing you to, if you’ll pardon the phrase, “eat two yummy birds with one paw.”
Tip #3: Avoid dogs. This tip is so important I deemed it worthwhile to mention it twice. Dogs are morons. In fact, I recommend staying away from them even if you don’t have allergies. That’s how dumb dogs are.
Are my tips working? (Of course they are, I’m a cat AND a doctor, I know what I’m talking about.) Tweet your results to me @Waggle_TV!